The Freedom of Living in Forgiveness
Boy, can I tell you many stories of God’s transforming grace and redeeming love! But today, I’m just going to share with you one of my stories.
When I was 25 years old, I was already a divorced mom of a two year old. I had been beaten down emotionally by my ex-husband and had very low self-esteem. So, I looked for love however I could find it.
One particular time, I ended up ‘hooking’ up with someone I barely knew. Well, the consequences of that night changed my life forever. I got pregnant.
I didn’t know what to do. I reached out to my mom and my best friend. My mom basically told me that I could not raise two children by myself. Because I knew the father of the baby was into drinking and drugs, I knew he would not be any help. So I decided that my only option was to have an abortion.
I left the abortion clinic feeling more empty and sad than I ever have before. I didn’t talk about it for thirteen years. For thirteen years, I lived with self condemnation, shame and guilt. I felt resentment towards my mother for not supporting me having a baby. I continued to try to fill the void in my heart with alcohol and sex.
Then, my best friend told me about the Pregnancy Resource Center. She said they had a Post Abortion Healing Program and that I should check it out. By this time, I was going through my second divorce and I was very depressed. I decided to go for it, and it literally changed my life. I was able to work through my grief and my inability to forgive myself. I was able to let go of resentment towards my mom and so much more.
I knew then that God was going to use my story to help other women, I just didn’t know how. Years later, I was cutting Pregnancy Resource Center’s director hair and we began talking about me volunteering. I knew she was sent by God. I began co-facilitating the Post Abortion Study. A few years later, the position for Director of Client Services became available and I applied. I got the job! I’ve been on staff now for 9 years.
God has certainly redeemed my abortion many times over and has allowed me to share with others. There was one particular client that I was able to share my story with. She felt like abortion was the only other option that she had. She agreed to doing an ultrasound which I chaperoned and she started crying. She then reached for my hand and said that she was “having my baby because of you”. I have a picture of that very same ultrasound in my office. It is a reminder of why I am here.
As the Client Services Director, I lead the Post Abortion Program. This program at PRC has helped hundreds of women on their own healing journey. It has been such a blessing to be able to be part of their journey towards healing.
"I delight greatly in the LORD; my soul rejoices in my God. For he has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of his" (Isaiah 61:10, NIV).
Client Services Director